I Could Just as Soon Fly as I Could Fall
Well, I’ve been in Los Angeles for just over a month and I’m still unemployed. I feel like such a slacker: what have I been doing with my life?
It’s moments like this that I want to cry out about how everything is so dramatically horrible. But then I think to myself, “Sondra, don’t be stupid: you’re like as awesome as the Awesomesaurus Rex (which you created, so you know it’s good).” In an attempt to feed myself an ego to keep me going another week, here are 5 things I’ve accomplished since moving to LA:
Thing One: I took a bartending course and passed my bartending certification exam. 200 drink recipes now live in my brain… why didn’t I do this in college?
Thing Two: I made new friends—when you think about how much energy that can entail, it counts as an accomplishment.
Thing Three: I convinced myself that eating meat substitutes other than tofu is okay and can even be yummy. (Although, nothing on this green earth compares to an In-and-Out burger, bloody fucking hell, those are delectable)
Thing Four: I volunteered to aid in running the National Conference for Queer People of Color. I’m curious to see what the conversation is like: I love listening to people talk. LOVE IT SO HARD.
Thing Five: I saw the sun set on the beach. Have you ever sat and seen nothing but water for as far as you can see? It’s kind of overwhelming how much water is out there and how far it goes and what maybe lurking under the surface and what lives on the other side of that expanse of water, whenever, wherever it ends. And then to watch the sun set, that water becomes a pool of black that could suck you and everything you know into it with only ripples and waves and it’s terrifying but also beautiful. It’s beautiful because, once the sun disappears into the ocean, you can turn around and see the neon pink lights of the bars and restaurants and head shops and all of the people laughing and eating and talking and skating and it’s like you remember this is the world you live in and you still have the chance to explore everything within it. There’s so much everything out there that you can’t even fathom what the everything is, but you can explore it.
I must sound really crazy. But I do love beaches and every time I watch the sun roll down into a body of water, I feel like I’ve just pulled through some thrilling ordeal. Thus, it counts as an accomplishment.
Really, the point of this entry is to let you know that I’m still trying to “make it” in LA (which, honestly, means “procure enough money to pay rent”). Maybe I’ll make it and never leave this lovely city. Maybe I won’t make it and I’ll have the chance to cross the country by car for a second time, in the summer. At this point, there’s really no way of knowing. Just cross your fingers and wish me luck.